Not Much To Say

Have you read Around the World in Eighty Days?

My 7th grade 12 year old has to read this book this year. Now this is not an easy book by any stretch of the imagination. He read the first chapter a couple of weeks ago and when we started to go through the comprehension questions afterwards, he was clueless. Unfortunately, this is my child that detests reading to begin with - so given a book of this caliber was going to be tough.

I took the book from him and started to read. Good grief. I understood the issue. Lots and lots of words. Now for some people (like myself) words are a beautiful thing. I could talk and talk and talk...(and those of you that know me - know I am not exaggerating.) I could write and write and write...(and those of you here reading this blog - know this is a fact as well.) But my son, well words are not his thing.

Many years ago, I went into the pediatrician's office for a checkup on my brand new baby girl. Son #3 went along and was only 20 months old when she was born. We discussed the fact that he did not have much to say. In fact, at the age of nearly 2, he barely spoke. There was little concern on the part of the doctor. She pointed out that he had 2 older brothers that spoke for and answered for him all of the time. He didn't really NEED to say much.

I thought about how I had carried Son #3 around on my hip for the past 20 months. Even through my pregnancy. I didn't carry him because he cried or fussed - I carried him because he always wanted to see everything. He did whatever I did - on my hip. I became adept at doing most things one-handed. It was quite a skill I had developed. He would point at things and his neck was on a constant swivel. He was an observer from very early on and never missed a thing. But words. Not so much.

I have always referred to him as my son of little words. I don't mean physically little. Little as in few. He was completely content all of the time. He was not an exuberant baby. Just pleasant, content and peaceful. If you sat to have a conversation with him, he would listen to every word you said. He acknowledged you with smiles and nods and one word responses. But getting him to full on engage was a chore.

I have a video of him when he was not quite 3 years old. It is the two of us having a conversation while I taped him behind the camera. It is probably the most telling of videos as it captured Son #3 perfectly. I watch it often and each time I still laugh. I still cry. I remember that day so vividly. We are discussing that the boys have gone to Kindergarten and Preschool and that his baby sister is taking a nap. We are planning lunch. He is looking forward to tuna fish. But no pickles because he doesn't "wike" them. He asks for soda with his sandwich. During the midst of this mundane conversation, we begin to have an exchange about potty training. I am telling him that if he goes on the potty he can swim in the big pool and go to preschool next year. He smiles and nods. He at this time is wearing the training pants with the stars on them that disappear when you wet them. I ask him, "Do you still have your stars?" He looks at me quickly and retorts. "Nah, I peed 'em." I begin laughing because that was Son #3. Very few words but when they came out - they were funny. The video continues. Moments later, he puts his head down very close to me and in the softest of voices says, "Mommy I don't want to talk anymore." And that is when I always begin to cry. I don't know why.

Son #3 has grown through the years and we have always joked how he sees things very black and white - not many shades of gray. Things are good. Things are bad. Things are fine. The answer is yes. The answer is no. No too much explanation involved. That would require too many words. Very compliant and very easy to get along with. Still a content child.

Also through the years we have learned what a great athlete he is. All coaches from all sports of all teams have approached us to tell us what a magnificent little guy he is to coach. They always say he is a coach's dream. He is very focused. He is still observing. He watches demonstrations and instructions. Very visual. I believe this is part of why he excels in athletics. Watch and do. Watch and do.

He has been watching sports on television since he was a preschooler. Loves to watch football, golf and college basketball. He can watch it for hours. Knows all of the teams, stats, schedules, players and scores. A few years ago, we were trying to encourage his reading. I invested in all of the Matt Christopher books that are about sports. Waste of money. But we finally struck oil with Sports Illustrated for Kids. Finally something he would read leisurely.

We joke all of the time about him being our family "reporter". He watches everything. Listens too. He sees the expression on faces. He hears the tone in voices. He has a good understanding of people. He is the first to report an incident, a problem or a story. If something has happened, Son #3 will burst onto the scene with the narrated version. Very aware of his surroundings and those that surround him.

Here we are in 7th grade though - still hating to read and still struggling to get beyond the words. So when I picked up that book and started to read I understood the issue immediately. I chose to read the book out loud to him. Paragraphs at a time. Then I asked him - "Okay, what is the author saying?" He blurted out his answer and he was correct. He watered down to a brief sentence what that "wordy" author had taken an entire page to write. I knew we were on to something here. I'm so lucky to be able to homeschool him. School would be difficult otherwise.

So everyday I read it to him. We stop every few paragraphs. He gives the "Cliff notes" version to me. We answer the questions and move on. Every day that I read this to him I have to get something to eat or drink to keep me awake because the guy really did use too many words and while I am reading Son #3 is writhing on the couch struggling to listen to all of those words like it is Chinese water torture. But every day we do it.

So yesterday I read a paragraph from the book to him.

"...His young companion felt herself more and more attached to him by other ties than gratitude; his silent but generous nature impressed her more than she thought; and it was almost unconsciously that she yielded to emotions which did not seem to have the least effect upon her protector. Aouda took the keenest interest in his plans, and became impatient at any incident which seemed likely to retard his journey."

I say, "What is happening here?"

He responds immediately. "She wants to ask him out but he doesn't pay attention to her."

I burst out into laughter. It was the same moment like when he told me he peed his pants. I kissed his face. I even called my mom read the same passage to her and told her what he said. She also broke out into a loud, long laugh.

Yet later that evening, I thought about that passage in the book again. About the main character being so silent that she was attracted to it. Interesting.

But I did cry again too. Just like I do watching the video when he says he doesn't want to talk anymore.

My guy of few words...