School Should Start After Labor Day...PERIOD!!!

I’m probably going to be very unpopular with this piece. I realize that much of what is interjected here is opinion and I obviously understand that there are two sides to everything. I’ve been observing things for a long time and this is simply the conclusion that I’ve drawn.

Everyone is in such a hurry. I’d just like to know where we are all going.

I don’t think that I have talked to one parent that likes how early school starts. Seriously. Every soul that I have spoken to has commented that they miss the days of going back to school after Labor Day. So it made me wonder…who decides that this is a good idea?

But then it just opens up a whole can of worms. Who decides that football needs to start in July? Or that Lacrosse starts in February? Why do extracurricular activities have to consume all of life? Why do camps and organized activities have to monopolize our summers? Why do our children have to be in 2 year old preschool? Who decided full day kindergarten was a good thing? Before school care – after school care. It never ends.

Somewhere along the line – getting ahead became more important than family time and being a kid. And we allowed it to happen. We as parents, played right into it. God forbid someone get a head start on our child - for anything. Keeping up with the Jones’ took on a whole new connotation the past decade or so. It’s not about lawnmowers or cars anymore – it’s about our kids. We’ve sacrificed our families in our efforts to keep up with what everyone else’s child is doing. Perhaps the phrase “No child left behind” was misunderstood. Rather than summer being a time for families to take a break from the rat race, summers are being used as a time to gain momentum on those we fear are ahead. It’s complicated. From our nation worrying that another country goes to school year round all the way down to mothers spending the night in parking lots the night before preschool registrations. We start our kids on soccer teams at 4 years old and begin grooming them for that college scholarship immediately. Thank God we have summertime to tutor our children, get them performance athletic personal trainers and attend a variety of indulgent, competitive camps and activities to make sure that they are keeping up with whoever it is that we are keeping up with…

It began innocently enough. There was a time that men worked and women stayed home with the children. You lived a lifestyle based on what the husband was able to provide. As times changed and women became more independent, dual income families emerged. Again, innocent enough. Women were just looking for equal status to men. Wanting the same opportunities to excel in their interests and employment. Obviously, there was a minor issue that women are the ones who have to physically carry and give birth to the babies…but companies have managed to deal with maternity leave and such.

But from that moment things became different. With dual income families, no one is home with their primary focus each day being JUST the children. I’m not saying that working mothers don’t focus on their children. I am saying that it isn’t their only focus for which they are responsible. Children are lumped into the house, jobs and all of the other things that parents have to be responsible for. It became a very careful house of cards that parents were building with their teeth while spinning plates with each hand and each foot. I can feel the difference in myself. When I was not working outside of my home, my kids were my only concern each day. Now that I have been working for the past 6 years, I understand what it means to split my focus. It is physically impossible for me to make them my only priority when I am responsible for a job. With two working parents, it has become more conducive to our society to start kindergarten earlier, then make it a full day, then preschool was critical at 4 years old, then 3, now 2…

While this type of lifestyle has enabled better financial situations, upped the quality of life for many families and sometimes necessarily so, it has changed the society that we are raising our children in immensely. Without the parents (whether they be male or female) home to make the children their only priority and responsibility for the day, our society has developed answers and substitutes to allow everyone to be able to do it all. We like to get defensive and argumentative that we can do it all and say that whether you are a stay at home mother or not, it does not impact the quality of life that you are giving your child. We find ways to make ourselves feel less guilty that we are working late or picking them up from a sitter. Often these ways are not healthy to all parties involved. But with passing years, it becomes a vicious cycle of sorts.


I remember summertime as a kid. I was a dancer and a cheerleader but it didn’t envelope my entire summer. I may have attended a week-long camp during the summer but it was for something fun and carefree. Mostly I played and hung out with friends and family. We went sight-seeing, picnicking, lots of swimming, trips to the beach, vacations, spent weeks with my grandparents, slept in, stayed up late, watched The Price is Right, had sleepovers with girlfriends, backyard badminton, went fresh peach picking in the orchards, sailing on the Chesapeake, spent days on the pier crabbing and hours picking the crabs we caught. We played cards and board games into the late night, renting movies and listening to music on the stereo. There were spur of the moment activities to go to a park for the day or take a drive. That is not how summers go in my home as an adult as much as I want them to.

This summer was gone in a flash. School gets out later every year. This year schools were closed on June 16th. My daughter’s dance recital was the 12th of June and 9 days later the “ballet summer intensive” was beginning on the 21st. Son #3 attended a Wyldlife summer camp from his youth group that meets year round, also beginning on the 21st of June. So we haven’t even made it to the end of June and two of my kids have already been to a summer camp!

Shockingly, the first week that my family was all home together with activities halted for a summer break was June 28th through July 4th! My third son’s birthday is July 5th so that brought some busy times for that week. We left on vacation the following Saturday on July 10th and returned on July 17th for a quick celebration with my mother in law for her 80th birthday. On July 19th I began the doctor’s appointments for the two oldest boys to get their sports physicals for school. Also that week, the two high school boys attended football camp at their school. It was not required but they were looking to make some friends and meet their coaches as “newbies” to the high school team. Since we had allowed each of our children to attend one camp, this was their one camp to attend. The good news, if there was any at all, was we were killing two birds with one stone so to speak.

The week of July 26th thru July 31st was spent school shopping, ordering books for high school as well as books for homeschooling, and purchasing uniforms while Son #3 began the Green Hornets football tryout procedure during the evenings. Also during that week in between all of the scheduled activities, we celebrated my eldest son’s 16th birthday.

The first two weeks of August were spent with our family split. With my daughter and I in New York City while she attended a ballet program at American Ballet Theater , my husband spent his evenings back and forth to the football field while Son #3 progressed through football tryouts and practices every night for our local recreational team. On August 10th, the actual football season for my high schoolers began with two -a-day practices until school starts. Practices were 6 days a week from 7-11 am in the morning and then again 4-8pm…every day except Sunday.

My daughter and I returned from New York on Friday evening to the Nutcracker auditions beginning that weekend as well as a good friends’ baby shower. We have now arrived at the week of August 16th – August 22nd. Each day was consumed with all 3 boys going to football practice. Additionally, the classes at my dance studio where I teach and my daughter studies, began for the new year on Monday the 16th. This was our last week of summer before school.

In fact, the last weekend before school started went something like this:

Friday August 20th:
8:30 am – 12:00 – Freshman orientation
11:00am – 12:00 – All other student orientation
2:00pm – 5:00pm – High School football practice
6:00pm – 8:00pm - Dance Competition Team Meeting/Son #3's Football practice/Back to School picnic and fireworks

Saturday, August 21st:
7:30am – 3:00pm - High school boys football practice and scrimmage
3:00pm – 6:00pm – High school boys football team family pool party

Sunday, August 22nd:
9:30am – 11:00 am – Church
1:00pm – 3:00pm – Nutcracker auditions
3:00pm – 6:00 pm – Son #3’s football scrimmage

On Monday, August 23rd was the first day of school! And there went the Summer of 2010 for our family.

Society has “upped the anty” for our families in a way that is nearly impossible to keep up with. Yet we are constantly bombarded with the “importance of family time”. I could tell you a dozen other things that our family was unable to participate in that would have also marked the calendars. From weekly Bible studies, to monthly book clubs – the commitment just couldn’t be made. The calendar that you just read – had been watered down greatly from the other opportunities that had presented themselves to us that we chose to eliminate.

At the beginning of the summer, I had told my kids that I had hoped to make a drive out to Ocean City for a day trip each week. I truly wanted that to happen. I was so upbeat and optimistic. We did it once. Too many other commitments kept us tied up. Now part of our problem is that we have a large family and once you allow each child to participate in one special thing – your calendar is full. But another problem is the extent to which we have taken to indulging our children.

Now here we are, into the second week of school. Football games already under our belt. Nutcracker rehearsals filling the Fridays and Saturdays on the calendar. Am I supposed to tell my boys that they can’t play football anymore or my daughter that she can’t dance anymore because it has all taken on a life of its own? I guess I’m just asking for our society as a whole to reevaluate and put things into proper perspective again. I think most parents want more family time, don’t they? Maybe I’m alone, swimming upstream again.

I was looking forward to Labor Day weekend to take a break. How sad is that? I need a break and we just started last week. However, we were informed by our boys that there will be football practices and games over the holiday weekend and that if we had made family plans then they needed to find someone to stay with to attend practice. Is it all really that critical?

Fast food and overly filled calendars are going to be the death of our families. I have prayed for years for ways to simplify. Participating in activities doesn’t need to consume our children’s lives and take over our families. These things should enhance our children’s character and create lifetime memories for them. Every child isn’t going to be a star…it’s not about getting to the top – it’s just part of their journey.

How does going to school prior to Labor Day help the moral fabric of our lives? It doesn’t. Okay so there is a law that says 180 days of school are required - but is the only way to achieve it by starting two weeks early? I understand that for working parents, earlier start dates are helpful. Working parents don’t have to find somewhere for their child to be and they will pay less childcare when kids are in school. But there has to be another way. I think it’s time to go back to a simpler time.

Families come in all shapes and sizes now. Two parents. Single parent. Dual income. Single income. One child. Seven children. There is no "ideal" picture of what a family should be. But all children need time off. Time to rest, to play to enjoy the only time in their lives to be carefree. All children need time with their families. And for what it is worth - all parents need time with their children, for they will be gone in a blink of an eye and that time is gone to never return. What if school started after Labor Day again? What if sports were played during their season only? What if clubs and activities weren't so competitive? What if we didn't try to have it all and do it all? What if we made choices and decided we had priorities? The current generations are growing up with what I call "entitled" attitudes. The generation that thinks they deserve everything. They see that Mom and Dad want it all - why shouldn't they? Sometimes you have to make choices - otherwise how do you know what is really most important? What if we just decided as parents in this age and time to slow things down a little? To appreciate what we have and enjoy the time we've been given.

Elbert Hubbard said, “No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity, if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to your own family, what have you really accomplished?” Don’t mistake constantly shuffling your kids around to a zillion places as love and attention. Just because you sign your kids up for everything they want to do and manage to work out a way to get them to all of it doesn’t mean it is the right thing for families. Just because we “can” doesn’t mean we “should.” Kids always think simply. Adults have made it complicated.